问题:

雅思作文,请大家帮忙看看能有几分,可能打进电脑时有些单词打错了topic:whethertheuniversitiesshouldaccepttheequalnumberofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubjuectIncontemporarysocietygerderequailtyhasbecomer

更新时间:2024-03-29 19:19:14

问题描述:

雅思作文,请大家帮忙看看能有几分,

可能打进电脑时有些单词打错了

topic:whethertheuniversitiesshouldaccepttheequalnumberofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubjuect

Incontemporarysocietygerderequailtyhasbecomerecentlyincreasingly.significantAcontroversialissuethatisheatedlydebatediswhethertheuniversityshouldacceptthesamenumberofmaleandfemdeshdertsineverysubjectAsfarasI’mconcemedtheuniversitiesshouldtakethedifferencebetweenmale’saptitudeandfemde’saptitudetowardsavarietyofsubjectasacinsideration.

Thereisnothingwrongwiththeuniversitiesiftheyacceptthesameamountofmaleandfemdestudentsineverysubject,Tostudywithindivdualsshouldhavethesamerigthtoreceiveeducation.whetherthesubjecthasprovedtobemoresuitableformaleorfemale.Moveover,inthisdayandage,theformerbaloneofjobswhichareformalesonly.avaliableforfemalesnowItisevidentthatthereisadefinitelinkbetweenemplaymentanduniversityedvcationTherefore,everysubjectinuniversityshouldbeopenedtomalesandfemalestudentfairly.

However,therealitythatthereareabviusclistictionsbetweenmalesandfemlesshouldbecountedSotheuniversitiesstillneedtoconsiderwhichsubjectsfitmalesnell,andwhichissuitableforfemales,Forinstance,thecmceqnencesformsomewell-known,researchsuggeststhatmenaregoodatsciencesandangineeringwhileartsareappropriteforwomen.whatImeanisthatbecavseofthegeneticfactors.malestudentsaremoreefficienttogofurtherstudyintermsofsciencesandengineering,whereasfemalesstudentsmayhaveamorebrigherfutureprovidedthattheytakeartsastheirmajorcourses.Furthermore,therearestillmanyjobsthatneedsaspecficgenderTakenurseasanexample,itisobviousthatwomenaremorelikelytogetthiswork.Sotheuniverstiesalsoshouldacceptmorefemalestudentsinnursingmajorinordertoadapttothereality.

Inconclusiontheuniverstiesnowadaysneedtohavesomechangestoadapttothenewera.Butthegenderequalityineverysubjectsisdifficuldandunpracticaltoachieve.

骆敏舟回答:

  lz写的的确很急大片大片的typos,最主要是模仿痕迹太重,折中写法,立意不高;打7分鼓励一下

  简单点评两处:

  Thereisnothingwrongwiththeuniversitiesiftheyacceptthesameamountofmaleandfemdestudentsineverysubject,Tostudywithindivdualsshouldhavethesamerigthtoreceiveeducation.whetherthesubjecthasprovedtobemoresuitableformaleorfemale.

  这里用Tostartwith,稍显生硬,模仿痕迹太重.推荐换fromanenlightenedstandpoint等万能句铺垫

  Forinstance,thecmceqnencesformsomewell-known,researchsuggeststhatmenaregoodatsciencesandangineeringwhileartsareappropriteforwomen.whatImeanisthatbecavseofthegeneticfactors.malestudentsaremoreefficienttogofurtherstudyintermsofsciencesandengineering,whereasfemalesstudentsmayhaveamorebrigherfutureprovidedthattheytakeartsastheirmajorcourses.

  这两句作为主题段支持句,意思重复